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Our
first 2 losses were due to miscarriages in the 6th and 18th week. I get asked all the time if the pain was the same,
with all three of my losses the pain is somewhat different. Each time I held my Baby longer and got to know them even
more each day. One thing that is so true is the bond and Love I feel for all 5 of my children is enormous, as they were
all conceived out of Love and very much wanted. Feelings I went through were yet different, with "Baby" and Jae Jae
I found out later I never truly grieved either of thier losses until the beginning of 2005. Society seems to believe
that they were less of a life since they were miscarried early in gestation. Family, friends, and Society
as a whole do not always understand the devastation a parent goes through when they realize the future and dreams they had
planned with this child are over. It is easy for others to understand why we may be sad about losing Matthew since
he was almost full term, and we held him in our arms. Jae Jae and "Baby" are just as much a part of my heart as
any of my kids and I am so honored to of had them with me the short time I did.
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